Bored of Blogging

Cafe's closing! I'm bored of blogging and have no good 'coffee talk.' I have so many things I think of to write about, but then I never get around to it. I just don't have time.

For my last post for a while, check out this story I read the other day about New York City's new law requiring restaurants to post calorie information.

I love it! People are annoyed that they're now faced with the cold hard facts of how much they're overeating. Do people really trick themselves into thinking just because it says ‘fat free’ that the Starbucks muffin they’re eating is really good for them? I think it's great and hope to see it in L.A. in the near future so I can make smart choices when I go out to eat. For those that want to eat whatever and not have to see the calories, too bad! If you would have ordered it before, what's stopping you now?!

Americans can continue to whine about being overweight and blame it on McDonald's and Starbucks and whoever else (everyone but themselves, of course), but people need to start getting real and facing the fact of why they're overweight. The fact is it's very hard to eat out all the time and not gain weight. There are just too many temptations and you don't pay as much attention to how much you're eating. You fool yourself into thinking you're making good choices when in fact you're sabotaging yourself. And let's talk about the whole '100 calorie' pack craze that's taken over. Just because it's 'only' 100 calories does not make it good for you. If it's 100 calories of cookies, it still doesn't have any nutritional value. You're better off eating 5 pieces of fruit! The fact is we all know deep down what's good for us. We just want to keep believing that somehow we can still eat nutritionally value-less food and be okay.

Okay, rant over. Now go eat something good for you! :-)

Chirp, Chirp!

Keith noticed a bird's nest with a couple baby birds in it in the bouganvillea outside our front window this past weekend. I wish I could get a photo, but there are too many branches in the way. Plus, I don't want the mom and dad to worry that I'm bothering their babies! I wish I could communicate to them that I won't hurt them and that I'm a new mom too. :-)

I was able to get a photo of this little guy who I think I caught just before he (or she!) learned to fly! So cute. He was staring up at mom or dad like, 'Now what?!'


This is the mom or dad hanging out watching over the nest. I wish I could get a better view (a bird’s eye view if you will!) of the circle of life happening right outside our home.

Hidden Meaning?

I think coincidences are interesting. Someone told me once that coincidences are the universe’s way of telling you you’re on the right track in life. Not sure if I believe that, but who knows? I’ve been thinking about it lately though because in the last couple days I had the following things happen.

Kieran was wearing this onesie...

I was sitting there holding him, looking down at him and thinking how cute it was as I was reading it in my head. At exactly the same time I was reading his onesie, in the background I heard the Pringles Stix commercial say ‘…one-of-a-kind taste.’ I hadn’t been paying attention to the TV or really listening to it, but suddenly I focused in on that.

Then on Friday morning as Keith and I were driving to the pediatrician a radio commercial came on that said, ‘My grandkids are my pride and joy.' At exactly the same time I looked up at this sign that said ‘pride ‘n joy.’

That one I think is especially weird because how many signs say ‘pride ‘n joy?!’ It’s not like hearing ‘all you can eat’ and then seeing it on a sign.

The last one was when I got home. I was having this conversation in my head (don’t ask why!) and I was thinking of telling someone a story about having someone come and help out and at exactly the same time as I was thinking it, I heard on the TV, ‘…help out.’ Again, I wasn’t really paying attention to the TV, but then that suddenly jumped out at me.

Does it mean anything? I don’t know, but I like to think it has some sort of meaning. Maybe I’m supposed to swallow my ‘pride’ and have some ‘joy’ when I ‘help out’ someone who’s ‘one of a kind!’

Overload

I’ve had to be on a really restricted diet for the last 3 weeks to try and figure out if Kieran has a food allergy. He had been fussy, seemingly uncomfortable after eating and had tested positive for blood in his stools so the pediatrician thought it could be something in my breastmilk that’s irritating him. With my new diet of very plain foods and basically eating the same things every day, I’ve come to realize that sometimes too many options can be a bad thing.

I actually kind of enjoy not having to think too much about what I eat. In the morning, I eat a bowl of old fashioned oatmeal cooked on the stove. I add a little cinnamon and sugar for flavor. Delicious! Then for lunch I eat a peanut butter and honey sandwich and an apple. Dinner can be salmon and asparagus or baked chicken and potatoes with corn for topping (since I can’t eat butter right now) or spaghetti with spinach and meat added to the sauce. I also eat an orange for a little sweetness. My snack is a smoothie made out of apple juice, a banana, frozen fruit and ice. It’s simplified my grocery shopping as well as taken the stress out of my meals during the day. If I don’t have any options then it’s pretty simple what I’m going to eat! I kind of like it, although if I did this every day for forever, I’d probably get pretty bored!

I think this ‘too many options’ theory could also be applied to other areas of my life. Living in the city, there is a dizzying array of options for everything you can imagine – whether it’s doctors, groups to join, classes to take, entertainment to enjoy, etc. I end up spending so much time researching each thing, that by the end of it I end up not picking anything! Well, not in the case of doctors of course. I’m forced to make a decision about them.

Sometimes I feel like this is why I haven’t done the things I’ve wanted to do with my life. I’ve crippled myself because I'm a perfectionist. I can never make a decision on what to do and how to do it. If I lived in a smaller city, would I do more? If there’s always an option of something that may be better, then do I just give up on everything? Is it kind of like divorce? If you don’t make it an option, then you work harder to make the relationship work. You know there’s no way out. If you give yourself the option of divorce, you’re telling yourself that something could be better so maybe you don’t work as hard. It’s the constant pursuit of a perfect life. I know perfection is especially paralyzing for me. I want the perfect class, not just any class. I want to be in the perfect show, not just any show. I want to join the perfect group, not just any group.

This happens to me on the internet as well. I’m so inundated with information that I never get anything done and can’t seem to make a decision on anything. It’s incredibly overwhelming to be presented with so many different opinions and information. To have to wade through it all and come to my own informed conclusion is sometimes just too stressful for me. How do I know who these people are who are making certain claims? Anything can be falsified on the internet. Anyone can hide behind the façade of a slick website. How do you discern what information is reliable?

I can’t even bear to watch the news anymore. It seems every day there is a new study conflicting previous information. Just when you’ve switched to the new recommendations, they come out telling you that it’s wrong and you should go back to doing what you were doing. It’s exhausting. I just saw on the news a story about kids drinking 100% juice. Previously, it was thought that it was contributing to childhood obesity. Now that seems to not be the case. Can’t we all smarten up a little? I have a hard time believing that 100% juice is contributing to obesity (apparently so did some other people!). Don’t we know why kids are overweight? Portions are getting bigger, people eat out more and cook at home less and we’ve replaced healthy snacks with snacks of convenience. Do you cut up apples for your kids or are you giving them a ‘fruit’ roll-up?

I realize people have less time than they had before, but that’s also because of choices people are making. We could choose to spend more time on making healthy eating a priority, but most people don’t want to because they’d rather spend time on other things. I’m not saying one is right or wrong. It’s just a fact. When I was working, I would pack my lunch every day. Most everyone else would eat out for lunch. I guarantee they were taking in more calories than necessary every day at lunch. My restricted diet has also opened my eyes to just how much crap is in the food we eat. Having to read labels even closer than normal is very eye opening. It’s no mystery why we’re getting fatter. I wish people would quit making it out like it is.

Do we have too many options in our lives? Maybe we could all use a little simplifying. I know I could!

(In my attempt to simplify and not be such a perfectionist, I'm trying to not be so anal about my writing for the blog. I end up worrying about saying everything so perfectly that I end up writing nothing. I have numerous half-written blogs! So my apologies if this post is all over the place.)

Urban Oasis?

For Memorial Day, Keith and I decided to venture out with Kieran and explore some hiking trails near our house. We’d been feeling silly for living here for 4 years and never having explored that area. These trails encompass Franklin Canyon, Coldwater Canyon and Fryman Canyon.

We chose to explore Franklin Canyon because we read online there was a lake and a duck pond and the photos made it seem pretty. There were also many rave reviews about hiking there. We were picturing a hike where we would take a little picnic lunch and find a nice spot to eat after hiking for a bit. Maybe a sweet spot by the lake?

I should have known not to have high expectations. I can’t even believe that people herald this as some amazing place to hike in Los Angeles. Is it just because there’s nothing else? Because it’s better than ‘hiking’ on a city street? I don’t get it. Maybe you have to be from L.A. as this person is or so desperate for any escape from the urban jungle that a puddle would make you sing with joy. Here's a part of the trail around the lake...

I understand that it's what L.A. has to offer as far as the landscape that's here, but I don’t understand how people talk about it as if it's the most magnificent place ever. I’m assuming these are the same people that speak of Runyon Canyon as though it’s heaven on earth. Don't get me wrong - I think it's great that people are getting out and exercising and it's better than just running along on a city street. It's not L.A.'s fault that it's located in the landscape that it is. I just don't see it as the beauty that others describe.

This is the bench we found to eat our lunch on. This sad little bench that looked like it was stolen out of a stadium, fresh with graffiti, is where we ate our fabulous lunch. We sat there munching on our sandwiches, sharing the bench with another family, as lines of people walked by. One brilliant 'hiker' exclaimed, 'Hey, we should have brought beef jerky. Beef jerky's great for hiking!' We couldn’t stop laughing hysterically at the absurdity. There are a few picnic benches, but of course all were taken. It's not like there were that many. Don't they know how many people live in L.A.?

This is one description of the duck pond.

‘Heavenly Pond is a small duck pond located to the west of Franklin Canyon Lake. Visitors can observe the very active bird life on the water. It is a quiet area with three picnic benches.’

‘Very active’ bird life? The wood ducks looked a little beat up. There were a few cute little turtles – I’ll give them that – but the sad fountain didn’t help.
(Apparently the pond was an Eagle Scout project so I feel a little bad in putting it down!). The truth is both the pond and the lake are right off the road. It’s not like you have to hike in to these areas. I keep looking back at the photos and questioning what I'm missing. You're probably thinking the same thing. I can't describe it. It just felt extremely lame when we were there.

I’ve learned my lesson. Pictures can be incredibly deceptive. I’m also not going to feel bad for having let this little area of L.A. go unexplored for so long. It made me realize I’m incredibly homesick for the lush forests and majestic beauty that is Washington State. Nothing in SoCal will ever compare. I always think I should be out hiking more and now I know why I never go. It’s not inspiring! I miss hikes where there’s a reward like a real lake, a sparkling waterfall or a spectacular scenic view. There’s also nothing like hiking in the crisp, fresh air of the Pacific Northwest. I have definitely been spoiled.

Here are some photos from our trip last summer in the San Juan Islands. Now that’s true beauty.


And here is a photo from a hike that was literally right outside my house where I grew up.

It’s times like these that I dream about leaving L.A.

Cafe's Open!

I’m dusting off the café. Setting the pot to percolate and inviting friends to stop back in. I can’t guarantee set hours, but I’ll try to be here a little more consistently! It’s been a busy couple months and I’m finally feeling like I have extra energy to devote to a few things other than Kieran. I love spending time with him, but for my sanity I need to have some other things in my life as well!

Today I also dusted off my running shoes and hit the gym. Physically, I felt ready quite a few weeks ago, but it was hard to find the time. I was also still in an exhausted daze. Not that I’ve completely come out of it, but my body has adjusted to functioning on very little sleep! It felt good to finally get back into exercise, but it will definitely take some time to get my body back to the level it was. Cardio was fine, but lifting weights was a whole other story! I have to be patient, which is hard for me. I get frustrated when I know I was at a certain level before. I just have to remind myself that my body went through 9 months of growing a little human!

Most of my time is concentrated on Kieran. He’s been a lot more responsive lately so I like to spend time stimulating his mind and continuing to bond. It doesn't feel so much like all I do is breastfeed and change his diapers! Things are mellowing out, which is good. The first few weeks I felt like a zombie and figured I’d never get time to do anything for myself ever again! I haven’t kept up on the housework as much, but that’s okay. I’m learning to let things go and learning to prioritize. I’m determining what’s most important. First and foremost is Kieran. Then it’s finding a little time to do my own projects. I get housework done in little bits when I can. I won’t say that it doesn’t drive me nuts to have things a little messier, but I’m trying to learn to let some of it go. For an incredibly anal Virgo, that’s a real accomplishment!

The blog will probably be centered more on motherhood since that’s my life at the moment, but hopefully I’ll stray outside of that here and there so as not to bore you all (okay, all two of you!). Thanks for coming in. Come back for a quick cup o’ joe (mine will have to be decaf until I’m done breastfeeding!) and enjoy the café!

Kieran

Well, all two people who read this blog already know about Kieran, but I'll post anyway!

Anyway, right after I posted that last post with Phoebe in the chair, I got a call from Keith saying the OB's office had called him. They had called me, but I didn't answer because it said Private Name, Private Number. Anyway, Keith said, 'Are you ready?' I'm like, 'Ready for what?' He said, 'The doctor's office just called. They want to see us at 2:00 or 4:00 today.' I had had a test for a condition called cholestasis a week before and apparently my test came back positive so the doctor wanted to see us to discuss a birth plan. I started freaking out! We had just seen the perinatologist 2 days prior and he had said I was doing really well and would probably be able to go to 39 or 39 1/2 weeks. I figured since it had been a while since I had the test that it had probably come back negative.

Well, we went to the doctor's office at 2:00 and ended up at the hospital at about 4:00 with a plan for me to be induced! Needless to say, it was a whirlwind and we weren't quite prepared! The nurse at the doctor's office told us not to go home to get our stuff because we would start the induction process at the hospital, but then be sent home. We were a little skeptical so we went home anyway, but had in our heads that we'd be coming back. Little did we know that we would be admitted that day and wouldn't see our home again without our son!

Apparently, cholestasis can create a hostile environment for the baby and can increase the risks for fetal distress, preterm birth, or stillbirth so the doctor said we needed to get the baby delivered. Friday morning, the doctor came and checked me, but the induction hadn't done anything. He thought if we continued the induction that the labor would be really difficult and with my diabetes strongly suggested that I have a C-section. So that's what happened! Friday morning, April 4th, I had a C-section and we had our beautiful baby boy!